A Post You Could Care Less About

I've been cleaning for the past few days. Okay, for over a week. I haven't done a deep clean for a couple of years, and with all the sunshine we've had this fall, it was clear that some serious elbow grease was in order. The push this time is because we're having a surprise party for DH on Sunday (the surprise is that he turned 70!) We're having 30 or 40 folks for for an open house type deal. And that means: clean the pit.

I was actually sort of energized to do it because the basement has really come together. Except for some more electrical work and the drop ceiling, we're pretty much done. Even with the ugly pipes and filthy joists, the basement has taken on a really cozy feel. The crafty corner rocks, DD's train layout is great, and the Man Cave is still a work in progress, but that mess can be contained. DH's workshop is so crappy I cringe going in there but hey, not my problem. And the most luxurious place in the whole house? The basement attic. A few years ago, DH went crazy and bought 8 or 9 matching, heavy duty grey metal shelving units. We put them together and lined them up on "my" side of the back of the basement. I can get all my crap on the shelves, including all the camping gear, all the linens and cooking stuff for the apartment, all the old books, and all the Christmas stuff down there. And here's the cool part: I can find all of that stuff. Wow. Luxury indeed.

Having such a huge 15 year undertaking so close to finished, and certainly usable like it is, gives me that urge to clean the crap from the upstairs. Then I realized there isn't much crap anymore, so a good deep clean would really make this wonderful. Now mind you, I HATE TO CLEAN. AND I HATE TO CLEAN UP AFTER OTHER PEOPLE. Oh, my, sorry about yelling. After nearly 30 years of being married to a slob, a fact of which I was fully cognizant when I married him, and worse--20 years of children who can't tie shoes, much less make a bed, has been frustrating. I've tried the passive-aggressive approach which is do no cleaning, but they don't care. They really, really don't care. That makes it my problem. I have laid down several new laws this fall. Both boys are now "doing" their own laundry. Not there yet, not even close really, but in a year or so they should have it down. DH sorta does his laundry.

So look out Martha, here's Ranger Anna's tips for cleaning:

1. Okay, I'm stealing this one from Martha: Make your bed. Everyday. Having a nice, neat bed in which to climb after a long day really is grand.

2. No dirty dishes in the sink at bedtime. A couple of years ago a friend of mine and I decided we both needed to do this. So we checked up on each other and now it's just habit. BTW, psychologists say that if you do or don't do something for 30 days, it will become part of your routine. True that.

3. Don't use outside spray-with-the-hose window cleaner. DH tried it 2 years ago and the windows seem to be pitted now. Damn.

4. Clean the damn windows twice a year. Easier to get a little dirt off than a lot.

5. Our whole house vaaccuumm system really sucks. For deep cleaning it's awesome. For quick messes it's just a drag. The 30 foot hose is cumbersome and requires wrangling, but boy does it clean. And since the motor is in the basement, it's nice and quiet upstairs. We have a crappy vaccuumm for the usual messes. We also use that out west.

6. My newest favoritest cleaning thing: A Libman quick mop. Works as advertised which is really nice. I also use a Libman mop for the big jobs. I almost never promote a brand name because I figure they should pay me for advertising, but this is an exception.

7. Keep paper towels, window cleaner, handiwipes, bowl cleaner, scrubbers, etc. in each bath. Lots of folks have a basket they lug from room to room. Nope, uh huh not me. Keep that stuff right under the sink in each room. So easy to do a quick clean anytime with out having to find the stuff and getting distracted along the way.

8. Don't carry junk mail into the house. Go to mailbox. Get mail. Walk back to house through garage. Stop in front of garbage can. Sort mail. Pitch crap out. Seriously, this cuts our junk in the house by about 3/4.

9. If you buy something new for the house, be prepared to get rid of something old. Houses do have carrying capacities. I've reached mine and now really have to weigh the 'cost' of having something else. I've done this with my clothes for about 7 years now. Really, really helps to focus on stuff that really is right. (Trying desperately hard to teach DD my incredibly materialist one about this concept. He just wants it all.)

10. I don't really have a tenth thing.