End of an Era

I wrote a while ago about coming of age issues with my kids.  We 'celebrate' the milestones differently.  And you'd think after 21 years, we'd be used to having the rug pulled out from under us.

It's happened again, and we didn't see it coming.  We never do.

FTD is at the Vocational HS.  He put in 4 years at the academic HS,  and as well as grades K-12, he attended the pre-kindergarten and 2 years of special needs pre-school.  In the state of Ohio, a child can stay in public school until the day before his/her 22nd birthday.  We've taken the position that it's a safe environment and they might actually learn something.  Children with special needs are usually pushed out of the system asap by staff and administrators, because of the cost of educating and transporting these children.  We pushed to keep them in public school, despite of all the heartaches that sending them to school creates. We fought battles at every, and I do mean every, step.  We thought our plan would be to let FTD stay one more semester at the Voc HS.  His birthday is early February, so he could get one more complete semester in.

Not gunna happen.  I should have figured something was up, when 2 people I didn't know showed up at FTD's IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting.  Shoulda known. You'd think I'd have learned this by now... after attending more than 20 of these meetings for FTD and 20 for DD.  But no.  I ended up being blindsided yet again.

One of the newbies at this meeting was apparently assigned the role of "You be the one to tell her."  Tell her that they don't actually have a place for him next year.  Nothing to teach him.  Nothing for him to do, except babysit him.  Her words.  I've often said that school has often been nothing more than glorified babysitting but to hear it from the other side of the table was pretty sad.  She couched her info, under the guise of things like, 'You know he's way older than the other students," and "He's not really interested in his classes" and other junk.  Duh.  He was at the meeting and he clearly, and with out hesitation said, "Well, if it was something I liked it would be interesting."  Sadly, they had no program for something he likes.  They wouldn't let him in the Transition-to-Work program because he'd only be here for a semester and that wouldn't work.  Wha??? The why weren't they doing that for him this semester?  Because last year when he was in the supposed Jobs Training Program the only thing he learned is that they don't like his hair or beard.  Jeezus-f-ing-.....  Seriously?  That's the only thing you could see in my son?  Really????  They didn't look very hard. And apparently they decided not to look this year.

I don't feel we've wasted the last two years, but we surely didn't get anything but a safe place to exist.

I don't want a life of mere existence for my children.  I want them to live.

Now what?

Our caseworker from the county board of developmental disabilities was there with us.  He and our other caseworkers have sort of hinted around that they didn't think much of public education for children with special needs.  They hear the griping all day long from parents.  But I'm an educator.  I wasn't ready to give up.  I am now.  And good riddance.

Without our permission, the newbie at the meeting contacted the Ohio Bureau of Vocational Rehabilitation (talk about a crappy name) to get FTD enrolled in that program.  We met with a caseworker there when he turned 18, and it was pretty dismal.  The person we met did nothing to make us feel like we were making a good choice or that this would be a good thing.  So I'm treading pretty lightly now.  Donn assures us that things will go better this time.  Lord I hope so.

So the upshot is that on May 17, my older son will be done~~forever~~with public education.  The end of a very long and very trying era.

From day one at school, we've held fast to the same goals for him.
1.  To be polite.
2.  To have friends.
3.  To be treated with dignity.

Have we met these goals? He is polite. Very polite.

He has two friends and feels that's plenty.

I don't know if he's been treated with dignity or not at school.  I know his fourth grade teacher did.  His pre-school teacher did.  His HS Science and Ind. Tech teachers did.  His grade school music teacher did.  Beyond that, I have doubts. 

I won't be here for his last day of school.  I could pull him now, and spend many more precious minutes with him before I go.  He still wants to stay here this summer, and we're now working furiously to find a room mate for him, in addition to his caregiver from the Board of DD.  The newbie woman asked at the meeting if he wanted to 'bother' to attend the Senior recognition day.  To bother to attend?  Jeezus, lady....  She'll think of some kind of 'certificate' they can give him.  Crap, lady he earned~~earned!!~~ a high school diploma!!! I'm so tempted to just say his last day will be May 4th, then DD and I can leave on Monday for Yellowstone, and get set up well before I have to report for duty.  And he can start the next chapter of his life, too.

Have I ever mentioned that having children with special needs means we're in a permanent state of grief? There are moments of joy, like watching DD at his party this weekend. But those moments are few and far between.  I hear parents with typically developing kids who worry about drugs, alcohol, and sex.  That would truly suck, too.  Maybe being a parent is mostly about worrying.  Oughta be a better system.....  maybe when I'm Queen of the World, I'll figure it out.

Six Weeks and Counting

Yesterday, Friday, was on of those days.

We have rescheduled FTD's IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) meeting 3 times--there were big, bad snowstorms canceling the first two dates we picked. That's always a fun time. NOT. He's at the cool new regional vocational HS this year, and we had high hopes. Don't any more.
FTD is definitely not working to capacity. We get that. But who works full tilt cleaning restrooms anyway? Especially since we were told when he was being tested/admitted that he'd likely get to work in the computer/drafting areas for at least part of his day. Unfortunately, his teacher is so fixated on his scruffy beard that she didn't/wouldn't/couldn't get him into any other programs. I'm pretty sure she didn't try. How many times did we need to ask????? Oh, wait. . . . after having FTD in public school for 16 years. . . I know the answer to that. Once again we are frustrated to the point of pulling out our hair. We might just pull him from school altogether and let the chips fall where they may. He will soon be eligible for waiver options, assuming our moron of a governor doesn't cut the funding for that program also. We're currently looking for Certified Waiver Providers, so if you know any, let us know. I have the list of everyone in Lucas County Ohio who is certified, but they are all strangers to us.



Meanwhile, back at the ranch . . .
And in the exciting yet alarming news, I got a note from my boss.

Good news: I can start working on May 8. Good news for my pocketbook, a wee bit tough on the family.

More good news is that we'll have 8 rangers again this year--with NO barricade duty! That means rove time and maybe a second ranger at the WYVIC during the day when we are 15 families deep at the desk. The bad news: Three of our four rockin'est rangers won't be back. Dr. D. is going to do wildlife jams all summer (which surprises me immensely), Carol has decided to retire, and so did Bob. Holy cow, talk about loss of institutional memory! These three folks are truly awesome rangers/naturalists/historians/humans. I shall miss each of them soooooo much! And the Divine Miss M is going to work the gate in the summer, then interp in the winter. (NPS has this wacky rule about a person can't work 2 seasons in a year in the same division/area. When that happens, folks become full-time employees. God forbid. So if you want to work year-round for NPS and you don't have perm-full-time status, you have to work in two different parks or two different divisions. In the case of YNP, you can work in different regions of the park, us being so dang big and all. The up shot is that you can work nearly full-time, but you don't get the bennies. Yeah, it sucks.) So all of our staff changes mean . . . . wait for it . . . . . I'll be the one with the most NPS years at Madison, as well as the most overall environmental education experience or any any other work experience. Hell, I've got more experience in total than the other guys put together. Scary, eh? This will be my 6th NPS season. (Which I think fails to register with a lot of folks.) Any who, Dr. Pi will be back, along with DM.

On the more good news front, B&L, the mostest awesomeest NPS volunteers will be back at Mad. They had talked about working at West, but I'm soooo glad they'll be at Mad. (They woulda been bored silly at West, honestly.) And we'll get last years WYVIC volunteer at Mad. Boy, is he in for a surprise! While we have a short afternoon lull at WYVIC, there are no lulls at Mad. (Bring it on!)

So this presents the annual question: Where will the Duv's live? Last year, 4 of our rangers had their own housing, leaving 4 of us in apartments. This year, all 8 of us need apartments. Our apartment has had two unrelated rangers living there some years. Oh crap. My boss asked if we could scrunch into the one BR place, and the answer is no, there's no way we can. Oh crap. Now what?

Sons and New Technology

My older son, FTD, purchased a new laptop computer this afternoon with money he earned from his summer job. What a step in growth--sort of. His primary use for it is to watch pokemon shows and upload game cheats. Okay, so he's not going off to college to earn his way in the world. But he did use good consumer skills to pick this thing out. That's an achievement right there. I'll take this as one of life's bigger successes for him--even though right now he's sitting next to me watching an incredibly dumb and inane show called Dragonball.

The boys are re-registered for school. What a gigantic pain in the seat. After the gracious and thoughtful welcome we received at West Yellowstone, the beating we took at AW was ridiculous. We had to prove we actually live in the district--where we've owned a home and/or other property for 30 years. We were told we had to produce 2 utility bills to prove we live here. Not our IDs, not our pay stubs showing where our money is sent (including the one the school district sends to DH to work for them), not even the public online records showing what we own and how much we pay in SCHOOL TAXES, but 2 utility bills. I said (very loudly and adamantly, I must say) no way. What a load of crap. At West and in Medora I just had to say, I work here. "Okay, when can the kids start and how long can you stay with us?" was the reply. Upon reaching the HS today (after last week's scene at the Board Office--they won't forget me anytime soon--we had to go through the whole rigmarole to pick classes again. FTD actually perked up at one science class that is offered. When his special ed teacher came in, she threw every wet blanket she could think of at him. No wonder he pretty much hates school. I'm really surprised that he chose to go back to AW instead of the vocational HS. He'll go there next year.

And the final upshot regarding his schedule is that he'll exercise his Senior option which is to skip 2 class periods a day. He'll skip 1st and 2nd. Except for the fact that I'll have to drive him in every day, this will work better around here. DD will get up and go, and FTD can get up in his super-slo-mo fashion. DD will be getting on the bus at 6:35, and I'll leave home with FTD at 9. That will give me a reason to get up and moving, too.

Nobody ever said life would be easy, but it shouldn't be spent on inane things like we did for the past several days. And yep, this this boondoggle won't stop me from moving back west next summer. . . I hope.