There are days when we live relatively comfortably with autism. Not many, but some. But no matter how hard we try to ignore it, it's there. Damn.
Some days are better. No fighting, which in our case is more brother related than autism related, no hassles, just a family doing family stuff.
Then there are the todays.
FTD had his wisdom teeth pulled. I realize that for many it's a right of passage type thing. How many of us had our third molars pulled in our college years? I sure did. DH, too. But last October when FTD first complained of a toothache, the whole wisdom tooth thing didn't even occur to me.
FTD never complains about physical pain, unless it's way beyond what you or I could bear. Last year when he had the flu, it wasn't until I found him lying on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor did I realize how rotten he felt. He never let on.
I didn't know about the teeth until last October, when we were at the Scout Council Camporee celebrating the 100th anniversary of the BS. We were getting ready to head to the Big ToDo, and he suddenly went into near panic mode. We stayed behind, although in hind sight, we maybe should have packed up and headed home then. But he said he wanted to stay and would take a couple of Tylenol instead. (As an aside, it was announced that night FTD's beloved troop leader was selected to represent the Erie Shores Council in the BS Hall of Leadership, one of about 300 selectees nationwide. Unbeknownst to me, someone had clued the powers-that-be in to the video I did of our Parent's Statement on his Eagle Application. That letter was then used as the nomination letter for his leader. Wow. Mark was presented with his award that night, and we missed it. Damn. Aside #2, a mom of another boy with autism saw the same video. Her son's leaders/District/Council were telling her that he couldn't really earn Eagle. His COH is in May. I wish FTD and I could be there....)
Back the the tooth saga. In the past, we've used a dentist, Dr. T., who is not among our insurance providers. He's a great guy, good friend, terrific dentist, but also not cheap. At all. We decided it was time to find someone within our insurance, and with any luck at all s/he would also be a Medicaid provider, so when the boys are booted off our insurance they could continue care and not have to go through the trauma of a new doctor in their lives.
Lo and behold, one of the two dentists in our other town is a provider. She, Dr. N., took one look and said, "Well, that tooth needs a root canal, and as jumpy as he is, you'll need sedation therapy to get it done. And I don't do sedation therapy." Okie dokie. So now I have to find a dentist, Dr. B. who is a provider and does S-IVs. That took another month of phone calling and web-searching. By then it was Christmas, and the good doctor was off playing golf (I'm quite sure) but we got FTD an appointment in January. This appointment involved the anesthesiologist who specializes in dental IV stuff. She also gets paid in cash on the day of the treatment.
The weather couldn't have been much worse the day of the appointment but we made it. (By the way, the doctor hilariously calls his office the dental spa. Seriously? Is that why it's so expensive?) They started working on him, in an attempt to fill 'several' cavities in the back teeth. But they couldn't goof him up enough to get in there. "What's that instrument called? What does it do? Where did you get it? Why are you doing that? When will this be done" and on and on. The doc gave up. There goes my $325 for S-IV that didn't work. And he still needs a root canal. But the doc has a new idea. After all, since his wisdom teeth are coming in sideways, you could have them pulled by Dr. S, along with the rotten tooth. Then while he's still under from that, I'll fill the cavities. Sounds like a plan.
We call Dr. S. He's booked until March. Surprise, surprise. We meet with him. He says that the wisdom teeth and rotten tooth pulling will be covered by our insurance and Medicaid. The cavity work, called dental restorations, mind you, would also be covered by our insurance. The only thing we might have to pay out of pocket was the cost of the dental suite, so Dr. B. could do his thing. Okie dokie, I'm thinking this will run us another $300.
Who knew I could be so wrong. The cost for that would have been $2600.00. What. The. F.
Cancel Dr. B. Go back to Dr. T. and just get the damn thing fixed once and for all. Dr. T. says, yeah, pulling the rotten tooth is a good idea. But says he, he can come in 'after work' at 1 p.m. and get the three cavities in his front teeth filled. Front teeth? What about the "several" cavities in his back teeth that Dr. B said needed to be filled, I thought but didn't say out loud. Dr. T said he could do it with laughing gas and a Valium. For FTD, not me. We did that last week. Pretty dang easy. $300, please.
So finally, the wisdom teeth came out today, along with the rotten tooth. Only took us 6 months. And now, FTD is goofed up on vicadin or something, swelling up, drooling blood and slobber, and trying to listen to my iPod with an ice pack next to his face. There's nothing I can do for him for now, except to keep the ice cream and pudding coming.
And hold his hand. It's what Mom's do.