Things I Wasn't Planning

I'm a list maker. When I make a list the item at the top is always: Make List. Then I get the satisfaction of crossing at least one thing off my list when I'm done.

My list for today included: Make List. Make meatloaf for supper. Email Home Tour map to print shop. Go to Library~~pick up wreaths and take to Invite!. Get check and gift certificates for Home Tour. Go to Print shop and pick up maps. Because of the Tour, I have time-specific things for Friday and Saturday, making today's list pretty important to get through.

Here's the abridged list: Re-decorate the Tree. See rest of list.

At 5 a.m. this morning, DD came into our room and said, "Mom, a bunch of your old special ornaments got broken. The tree fell down. Oh, and there's water all over the carpet." Had his list stopped at 'tree fell down', I'd have gone back to sleep. But DH and I both shot out of bed at the one about the water.

Damn.

For me decorating the tree is a process. We always get a live tree from our friends~~Rhoades Christmas Tree Farm in Whitehouse. FTD's Scout troop helps out cutting and lugging trees for the customers and in return the owner makes a generous donation to the troop. DH and FTD have spent Sunday mornings in December over there for the past 4 or 5 years. This year, FTD didn't sign up for a shift working, but we did go pick out our tree. Much to my surprise and delight, both boys actively helped out picking just the right one. We have criteria: can't be a pokey tree. Can't be any taller than DH can reach. Must be fat, but not too fat to fit in the family room. Since our home is on the Whitehouse Library Home Tour this year, I gave the boys the option of putting a ginormous tree in the living room~~a good 12 footer, or a regular one where we always do. I was sure they'd go for ginormous. Again to my surprise, they want it where it's always supposed to be. How sweet.

We slayed the tree and brought it home last Sunday. It went up easily and this year we didn't prune much off the bottom, since there won't be many presents under it. And the boys got an actual chuckle when I told them that they both asked for stuff like video games, which take up no room at all. They both laughed and got my point. (Verra verra unusual that.)

We let the tree stretch out it's branches for a day or two and then put on the lights. Then the pretty little angel on top. Then the snowmen garland, then the red bead garland, and then the ornaments, all of which is done over a couple of days.

This year I decided to do something super special, partly for the home tour, but mostly because the boys would get it~~I got the ornaments from my Mom and Dad's out. I showed them the Woolworth and Shiny Brite boxes and told them which were Dad's special ornaments and which were Mom's. The boys haven't had a knock-down-drag-out fight in the house for a long time, and I figured the ornaments would be safe this year. So much for best laid plans of mice and men.

I don't have time to grieve over the loss of a dozen or so glass bulbs. There will be time for that when I pack the boxes away in January. But grieve I will. For a part of my childhood that's gone, for the ever present grief of missing parents and especially the boys' grandparents, and partly for my life now which never, ever goes as planned.